An update on where I am not: Considering non-commitment

After returning from a week off, I have not been to Port Melbourne since last weekend, although it has been possible to follow from a distance some of what has been happening. I fear I am becoming one of those ‘maybe’ RSVPs, taking the liberty to waltz in and out at leisure.

It is the start of the semester at Melbourne University, so there has been tutoring to prepare for, meetings and friends returning to catch up with. I have been working on one presentation and trying hard to work on another. Currently I am carrying a bit of a half cold. I am not too sick to work, but just sick enough to worry about if I am going to pass it on to other people. I have been getting a lot of these things the past couple of years, I suppose I am doing something wrong.

I am constantly rediscovering that I have to be realistic about how much I can fit into a day. It is not feasible to read a book, write half an article and fit in a quick nap at my desk before making it to an evening meeting. Groups in Port Melbourne generally exist because there are some people willing to work very hard and put in many hours. My time of being able to put my hand up for everything that will fit in my diary is probably over for now.

Perhaps I am selfish, idealistic or just plain deluded. However, I hope to still keep in touch, keep up some degree of membership and follow a few of the bigger agenda items. My motivations include my own enjoyment, as well as the potential of being able to check in with people about what I am writing.

Is a partial commitment to being part of a group inexcusable bad manners, or do groups need to change the way they run in order to those of us who want to just see how we feel on the day? Do you think that a fear of not being able to do everything stops some people from doing anything? Do you think it is fair on the groups for me to keep a toe in Port Melbourne while I prioritise writing at my desk in Parkville?

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2 Responses to An update on where I am not: Considering non-commitment

  1. Tracey – however and whenever you involve yourself in Port Melbourne – it is always good to have your around – whether in person or virtually. There is the other side of your story – the people who have enjoyed your presence – who are a bit sad [though realistic about what you have to go on to do]. In this sense, its just part of the great big wanting to hold onto something you like phenomenon – attachment in the Buddhist sense.

    • Tracey says:

      Yes, I do want to hold on to the things I have enjoyed. Even the bits that have felt like hard work seem safer than getting into all this writing stuff, although I am sure it won’t be too bad.

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